Resident Wife

Flu Shot Accomplished!

I brought the Beloved Upstairs Relative (BUR) for his flu shot today. People must have stayed away in droves, because we were in and out of the clinic in half an hour. Instead of the usual cattle call, it was just a small group of elderly people.

But of course I have something to complain about! Anyone who knows me (or reads my rantings) knows that I'm not a fan of government interference. I'm always on the lookout for the thin end of wedge (I prefer "enlightened self interest" to "paranoia"), and it is absolutely chilling when the government threatens physicians with fines and jail time for not following orders. (After all, physicians are too greedy, stupid and corrupt to ever suggest to young, healthy people that they're not likely to die for lack of a flu shot. Gag.)

Public Health Commissioner Christine Ferguson said the state, facing an unparalleled shortage of flu shots, had to direct vaccinations to people most likely to die from the illness, such as very young children, seniors over 65 and people with chronic medical conditions.

"It's not rationing," she said. "It's being rational about how to reduce the number of deaths that could result from a serious flu season."

Yes, it is rationing. A frosted dog turd is not a wedding cake*. Insisting that said frosted dog turd is not actually a frosted dog turd but a wedding cake does not make it a wedding cake. So let's call a spade a spade, Ms. Ferguson. (Note that it's not Dr. Ferguson; she's an attorney. Surprise, surprise.)

So what's next? Fining and jailing healthy people who have the unmitigated gumption to ask their physicans for a flu shot? Aren't they just as "guilty"? After all, people are too greedy, selfish and corrupt to pass on such a thing unless they are coerced. (Gag.)

I don't remember where I first heard the dog turd thing, so thank you, Mr. Author Unknown.

Heard the New One About Teresa?

Is this the health care plan only an idiot would fail to support?

Kerry says he wants to help more businesses offer health care by requiring the government to pick up 75 percent of catastrophic health care costs, a plan the campaign estimates will lower premiums 10 percent on average. He would give small businesses a tax credit to help employers bear the rising cost of health insurance.

And how much will this premium-lowering plan raise everyone's taxes? (Where does he think the government's money comes from?) Kerry seems to feel pretty damned generous with other people's money; let him fund this bloody boondoggle out of his own pocket.

Seriously, though, government funding and tax breaks for businesses are not the answer.

Right now, if your employer buys health coverage for you, you get the benefits absolutely free of state and federal income and payroll taxes, without limit. But if you must pay for your own health insurance, you get no tax break at all. Every penny is paid with after-tax dollars, which means most people have to earn about $7,000 just to pay for a $4,000 insurance policy. If workers without job-based insurance were treated the same as workers who get coverage through their jobs, the effective cost of coverage would be cut nearly in half, allowing many millions of the currently uninsured to get health insurance.

But that's not all from the Kerrys' Better Living Through Big Government agenda. (Thanks to Galen, again.) A Department of Wellness? Good Lord. Every charlatan who couldn't get into a Mexican podiatry school will be trying to feed at that trough, claiming that we can achieve "wellness" if we put positive ions in our soup by wearing silly hats and yelling "Booga Booga".

I'm appointing myself Mistress of Wellness. Now grovel at my feet, worm, and I'll enlighten you. (Whoops, got a little carried away....) Anyway: Eat less. Move more. Don't smoke. Drink in moderation. Now where's my six-figure paycheck?

Disclaimer below

Give Darwin His Due

I do not believe in bubble-wrapping the world for the sake of The Children®, especially since I don't have any. In the interest of the greater good, though, I don't complain too much about having to subsidize other people's mistakes precious miracles. But, God damn it, the nanny state has encroached directly on my life today, and I'm not amused.

My mail order prescriptions arrived, and I had to wait for my husband to open the damned bottles. I had told the pharmacy that I wanted plain old plastic caps. Lo and behold, there were the plain old plastic caps, at the bottom of the bag. (Note to AdvanceRx: there's a strong correlation between conditions that merit industrial strength prescription NSAIDs and conditions that make it painfully fucking difficult to open childproof bottles.) There was an explanation on the receipt of why they default to childproof bottles, and I really wish I hadn't run it through the shredder. Basically, it amounts to covering their asses. Some negligent parent would leave Mother's Little Helpers within Junior's reach, and then turn around and sue the pharmacy, the prescribing doctor, the Post Office, etc.

But why does this apply to my child-free household? Because some little bastard might steal the package off my porch and then overdose? (Don't scoff; it happened a few years ago in Arlington, MA. There was the expected hue and cry about the "poor kids" who overdosed, and little mention of the fact that they stole an MS patient's muscle relaxants from his porch. Somehow I doubt that they had to make restitution.)

Anyway, my modest proposal: easy open caps for everyone! And let's bait the little bastards by putting drugs on everyone's porches! An experiment with a honkin' dose of magnesium citrate might teach 'em a lesson. Or Ritalin! Haldol! Ipecac! The possibilities are endless!

But what about The Children®? My question exactly! What about 'em? I don't have them and don't want to be painfully thwarted in my own house because of other people's negligence. This is my house, and it's a Natural Selection Zone. The bubble wrap stops at my door.