Confession: I'm not much a sports fan. But an odd confluence of circumstances has piqued my interest in the World Series this year. I'm taping tonight's game for my father-in-law, a big Sox fan who is visiting the U.K. branch of the family. He left when the Sox were down 3 to the Yankees, so the poor guy must be jonesing by now. Constant baseball coverage has left me longing for Cooperstown; my husband did a couple of rotations there during medical school and we both fell in love with the area. (Of course, I had no idea the Baseball Hall of Fame was there until I saw the signs on the drive out.) And Cooperstown-longing makes me think about baseball, and why I've never been a big fan.
I have vague memories of the 1975 World Series, when the Red Sox lost to Cincinnati. But, being six at the time, I didn't really care. I spent the ensuing decade having a geeky, unathletic childhood and adolescence, and probably couldn't have named more than three guys on the team. Then the inescapable hoo-hah of 1986 drew me from my navelgazing long enough to watch the Sox lose to the Yankees. The Bill Buckner incident put me off baseball, but not in the way most people think.
The vitriol directed at Buckner was disgusting, and a perfect example of why I find pro sports such a turnoff. I have great appreciation for a thing done well, so it's not the sports or athletes per se; it's the goddamn fanatics! (I use that word to distinguish them from fans--you know, the ones who aren't fucking insane.) Yes, Buckner missed that grounder, but that was Game 6. Then the team blew Game 7, which still could have won them the Series. Why acknowledge that when you have a scapegoat handy? The kind of idealization and devaluation that would be a red flag for a personality disorder in an individual is par for the course among rabid sports fans. Add alcohol and the ever-logical desire to celebrate victory with destruction and general assholery*, and then count me the hell out.
On Saturday, I had to do some asshole-dodging. My brother-in-law brought my niece to Game 1; they parked at my house and took the train in to avoid traffic hassles. When I met them at the station after the game, I jumped up and waved my arms over my head (rather than screaming "HEY, PETE!" at 1:30 am in a residential neighborhood.) Before Pete spotted me, though, I managed to attract the attention of a group of yobbos a bit behind him; they started waving, whistling and yelling stuff like "Hey, beautiful! You want some of this, baby?" I've never understood catcalls: what do these guys think is going to happen? That I'll say "I've been waiting for you all my life! Now rip my clothes off, you beast, and take me rudely from behind!"???
Anyway, Pete (who still plays hockey at 40+ and has the bearing of a man who can administer an old-school hip check) spotted me during the catcalls. He yelled "There you are!", walked purposefully in my direction, and the yobbos shut up immediately. (Miraculous, no?) Obnoxious as they were, there was no harm done. But I'm less sanguine about what will happen after tonight's game, especially if the Sox win it.
Last week, (Thursday?) in a horrifying example of crowd control gone awry, a woman died after being hit in the eye when the police fired pepper balls into a crowd. The investigation is ongoing, but this scares the hell out of me no matter what actually happened. Marauding fans scare me, but police going overboard with allegedly nonlethal weapons scare me even more.
It's 3-0, Sox, bottom of the seventh right now. I'm going to go lock the doors.
*OK, so maybe assholery isn't a word, but God damn it, it should be.
Just so you know; a number of docs are watching patiently for the outcome of the autopsy of that woman. The human body is designed to sacrifice the eye in the case of a direct hit in order to preserve the brain. Ask your husband about an eyeball "blowout fracture."
Still, be careful out there this weekend!
Posted by: doc Russia | October 30, 2004 at 12:40 AM
K--
Omaha office here. Our records show you're behind quota. It's not a big deal YET, but quarterly reviews are coming up, and it would be a pity if we had to put a note in your personnel file. Please set up an appointment or turn in your quota of postings at your earliest opportunity.
--Middle Management
Posted by: Omaha Stalkers | November 28, 2004 at 10:51 PM